How to Be Confident: 5 Steps

STEP 1: Your Thoughts Are POWERFUL – Renew Your Thinking – As a man thinketh, so is he. – Proverbs 23:7

Stop for a moment.  What do you think about yourself? Have you ever let negative thoughts take root? “I’m not good or smart enough. Ugh! I’m so weak.”  Halt! Now, juxtapose it to God’s opinion of you. The Bible says that YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made, created in God’s image, and a conqueror and co – heir with Christ.  Psalm 139:14, Genesis 1:27, Romans 8:17. Before the beginning of time, God thought of you and lovingly designed you for a special purpose on this earth.  Feed your mind with TRUTH.  Once you begin to believe truth, you’ll be equipped to readily identify and combat negative thoughts as lies aimed at tearing down your self – esteem. Cast down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

The first step to being confident is understanding that there is no one on earth like you.  He knows the number of hairs on your head, your thoughts before you think them, and when you wake and lie down.  God created you for a awesomely specific purpose. Once you begin to transform your thoughts and renew your mind, you’ll be more confident in how He created you and who you are made to be.

STEP 2: Exercise the Power of Positive Self Talk – Life and Death in the Power of the Tongue ­

Before an interview, one of my favorite exercises is to look at myself in the mirror with my head held high, shoulders back in a power pose with my hands on my hips.  I stare at myself for a moment and then affirm myself out loud: “I am confident, capable, and equipped to take on this job!” When I step into the interview room, I feel more sure of myself and calm.  This is not a novel concept created by psychologists.  Its principles are well established in the Bible. Job 22:28 says: “Thou shalt also decree a thing, and it shall be established unto thee.” When we speak things into existence as if they are already so, we begin to believe it and align our hearts and minds in agreement for how we want God to change us.

Repeat the following affirmations out loud:

• I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength – Philippians 4:13
• The Lord makes me victorious – Psalm 3:8
• I am valuable to God – Matthew 6: 25 – 27
• God has given me amazing talents and gifts – Romans 12: 6-8
• God did not give me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and of sound mind – 2 Timothy 1:7
• I am strong and courageous! I will not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord, my God is with me wherever I go – Joshua 1:9

STEP 3: Stop Comparing Yourself to Felicia – Tell Her BYE

Friend, comparison is the thief of joy! If your joy is gone, so is your strength. The Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians not to compare: “Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.”  In the world of social media, it is so easy to get caught up in viewing the highlight reels of others.  Generally, we get a warped sense of other peoples’ realities because they only post positive moments.  By comparing our looks, careers, or seasons in life to others, it robs us of our ability to recognize what God is doing in our lives and ability to have faith for all He is going to do.  It damages our self – esteem because we wonder, “Why don’t I have [insert desire]?, or I wish I was like [insert person].”  Instead, focus on all God has already given you, and thank Him in advance for what you are believing Him to do.  This redirects your attention from what you may perceive you lack to what you are grateful to God for.   Remember that God is perfect, and so is His will.  When we realize that we are on our own paths and journeys, we let Go of comparison and focus on His goodness.

STEP 4: Stop Caring What Others Think

Now this is often easier said than done.  It’s human nature to want to be liked and accepted.  However, I’ve come to the freeing realization that it is impossible for everyone to like you!  Think about it this way; Jesus was perfect in every way, and yet He was crucified.  By not being a prisoner to other people’s opinions of you, you’re free to run after your dreams and what makes you happy. While it’s always a good idea to ask for godly/wise counsel from those you trust when making important decisions, not all decisions require someone else’s approval.  In college, I’d always ask for someone’s opinion before making a decision, but then I realized that I often ask no matter how small the decision was.  Part of growing in confidence was deciding to wear an outfit and not caring if I’d look too “over dressed” for class. (I’ve always been a girly girl and sometimes got comments about looking “done – up”).  Soon, I stopped caring about how I was perceived and expressed myself the way I felt most comfortable. Remember that you were not created to be like anyone else.  If you want to wear the outfit, WEAR it! If you want to be the first one on the dance floor at the wedding, SHAKE it! If you want voice your opinion in the meeting, SPEAK out! Don’t let the fear of other people’s opinions prevent you from living and ultimately make you wonder what could’ve been!

STEP 5: Remember, Your Confidence is Always Evolving

Finally, remember that no one has “arrived”.  Although I consider myself a very confident person, I have by no means reached the pinnacle of confidence.  We all have areas in which our confidence can grow, because it evolves as we experience life’s various stages.  Know that Christ is refining us daily and helping us to become better versions of our selves.  If we take a few steps back or falter, He is always there to pick us up.

What are steps you’ve taken to grow in confidence?